Dienstag, August 31

Q: Have you heard that doctors are now advocating abortion for health reasons?

A: Yeah, they say that it really brings the kid out in you!

Let's face it; masturbation gets a little boring sometimes. The same routine, day in and day out. The solution to this is easy for females. It requires a little bit of preparation, but in the end you'll be thankful. First step is to get a video camera. Second is to video tape yourself enjoying the pleasures of your own body. Now this is easier said than done ladies, you have to remember to be very careful about the framing and lighting of your video. The third step is to give it to me. It's a real rush that is bound to spice up your m-life, guaranteed.

It's go time.

Things this summer that I realized, understood, figured out, or fit inside my anus:
-The fact that spiders exists proves these is no God.
-Florida is the reason deoderant was invented.
-Daddy loves you, but he drinks.
-Only children believe in make-believe things; such as Santa Clause or unicorns or the affirmative action or the female orgasm.
-When breaking the law, the act can go unnoticed and unquestioned if done casually.
-The miracles of modern science can now allow a person to live way beyond their usefullness.
-I would have never been born if my mother hadn't spent her abortion money on weed.
-A spatula.
-If a guy sucks your dick, you're not gay.
-I'm not gay.
-Excuses are like elbows; if you think you have one, you probably have two.
-The first STD comes from when Adam made love to God.... unprotected.
-If you can't speak english, you're not worth speaking to.
-You fuck Brad Pitt, you make love to Ed Norton.
-Speed makes the pain go away.
-This is the last item on this list.

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